The Night Sky

This time here in Honduras has been difficult. It's been a struggle. Some days I've wanted it all to be over. Sometimes I didn't wan to face the day and others, I didn't know if I could. My fantasies, dreams and desires of what our time might look like left me in a blinding cloud of reality. Reality that sometimes life is hard and makes you wanna give up, that sometimes it makes your heart hurt so much you don't know what to do with yourself. Amidst the struggle I see a few twinkling victories. Stars in the night sky of struggle, given as reminders. Reminders that there is hope. A reminder that our struggle, our hurt, tears and grief aren't all for nothing. There is a bigger plan, a greater purpose. The black sky is all our difficult situations blurring together so that we can't pin point the individual struggles as easily, we just see struggle. But what we can see more clearly are tiny, shimmering dots of light. Each victory perfectly defined. They are the focus. Some even join together to create a bigger picture.

When you look up into the night sky of your life are you overwhelmed by the spanse of darkness or do you let your eyes use the black sky to contrast and illuminate the twinkling victories and joys?

If life was all a blue sky we wouldn't have the darkness- struggle and strife to hold our stars against. The question is: Will you chooose to let God use your struggles and victories create a beautiful picture for you to admire and enjoy?

Scorpion Stings And Other Things

Here's a litle of what's been going on lately....

-I'm feeling better thank you so much for all of your prayers!

-I got stung twice by a scorpion while I was sleeping, what a rude awakening that was!Thankfully they aren't poisonous so don't worry I'm okay! I now have a scorpion as a souvenir though haha! Please pray for me to be able to sleep at night without thinking about scorpions..!

- The squad leaves in one week. I can't believe how fast time has flown! It seems like they just got here. The girls and I have gone with one of the teams a couple times and it was nice to get to know them and meet their contacts. I have met so many wonderful people on the squad and made so many new friends. It will be hard to say goodbye!

-We have two weeks left here! Again, time has flown incredibly fast. It will be super hard to say good bye but I have a feeling all three of us girls will be back at some point so it's not good bye forever.

-Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat....! I just want to say that I am so excited for Christmas this year! I can't wait to be a part of the festivities at home this year!! It's strange to be here in the hot sun listening to Christmas music and planning all of our winter activities. It will be quite the shock when we get home haha.

-As always there is a lot going on in our lives.. of course the above only covers a few things on the surface. Please continue to pray for Tony and Nidia and their ministry. Pray for the boys to grow and mature in different parts of their lives as well as in their relationships with God. Pray for break through! Please pray for the squad as they finish their time here and transition to their next country and please pray for us as well as we finish our time here and transition home.

Again thank you so much for your support and prayers! You are a blessing to many :)

Life is Busy!

First of all, I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last update… I actually wrote one a few weeks
ago but never got the chance to post it.

A lot has been going on here in the past few weeks… We finished the womens bathrooms, the
kitchen, the pulperia (corner store), and got everything else spic and span ready for the squad. The squad is now here, all 52 of them now occupy the buildings we spent so much time preparing for them. It is a great feeling to see people everywhere, tents perched all over the lawn, and sleeping bags and hammocks filling a building that was once used for sin and is now being used to praise God. Wow. The squad has only been here a few days but I have already made some new friends and met some amazing people. I feel so blessed to be apartof this ministry. Nat, Kay, Tony and I finally got the pulperia all ready- named Tres Gringas (three white girls) after us haha. It seems to be quite a big hit and has helped break the ice. Yesterday we had giant line ups of people waiting to buy things!

On a sad note, a few weeks ago our dear friend Jimmi was killed in Los Pinos. Only 16 years of
age, he was beaten to death by 6 guys. The story is that Jimmi and his friend were super high and the 6 guys didn’t want them in their neighborhood so they picked up anything they could find, rocks, sticks and pipes and started throwing it at the boys. Jimmis friend ran and Jimmi was beaten to death. My heart broke with this news. While in Honduras last time I’d gotten the opportunity to spend time with Jimmi on the farm. He was a quiet but sweet kid. This
time, every time we drove into Los Pinos he was there to greet us. It is strange going there now knowing he’s dead. A week after it happened we had the opportunity to bring dinner for his family and a photo album full of pictures and bible verses. When the photo album was presented to Jimmi’s mom everyone swarmed her trying to see it. Sobs broke out. It was heartbreaking. After looking through the pictures his mom said that they were the very first pictures they’ve ever had of Jimmi. I cannot even imagine that. Please keep this family in your prayers! Pray also for Jimmi’s friend that got away. I can’t imagine what he is going through right now. We are asking God to turn this into a wake up call for the boys that do drugs and hold people up for
money.

We have about one month left here… it’s going to be so hard to leave. I love being apart of the
life here. I love serving and going to bed knowing that I worked hard for Jesus. Despite all of the challenges we face every day, despite all of the ways satan tries to pull us down, there are breakthroughs and miracles and God is moving in so many ways. I wouldn’t trade this time here for anything.

Prayer requests:

Healing for me, I haven’t been feeling well the past few days… fever, aches and pains,
exhaustion. I don’t want this to keep me down any longer!

Josue one of the boys that used to live with Tony and Nidia (Carlos’ and Fernando’s older
brother) is living on the streets doing all kinds of drugs. He has been on Tony and my hearts a lot the past few weeks… Today he was crying and telling Tony he wants to come back and live on the farm. This might not be an easy decision to make. Please pray for God to continue moving in his life and that God would tell Tony and Nidia what they should do.

Blessings upon our time with the squad, that God would just do incredible things through everyone.

THANK YOU so much for all of your support! :)

Darkness is everywhere. Evil flies through the night sky like a swarm of bats. My soul is tormented with the deepest sorrow and I can’t escape the suffocating cloud of heartache. The war is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

Everywhere I look there’s violence. Some get up only to fall back down again, crying out as their deep wounds ooze and fester. Yet the pain only puts fuel on the fire. It makes them angrier, and strangely gives them the boost they need to fight harder to cause more pain to others. To make someone hurt more than they do. The war is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

Satan prances around stealing children from their mothers. He disguises his tactics as satisfaction and the answer to all problems. He howls with laughter as he pulls the wool
over another pair of eyes- as he ruins lives one by one. Deadly destruction is in his wake. The war is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

Just when it seems like we’ve done all we can, when it seems like all hope is lost and we’re losing the battle, a glowing light appears on the horizon. A light so bright that everyone is blinded and the darkness instantly disappears. As the light gets closer it grows bigger and brighter. Though now blinded, the leader of the army tries even harder to fight against us. The war
is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

The glowing light finally reaches us. He begins to fight along side us but not in the way we thought. And maybe he was there all along but I was so focused on fighting the battle alone
that I never noticed. His presence gives me strength. I feel a love surround me so sweetly like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. My world is filled with light- the purest of lights. The war is
raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

Inspired by his nearness I speak truth into the face of the leader in the opposing army. Suddenly I feel something around my waist and I look down to see a glimmering belt, I look up
surprised and I see the being in front of me stumble. The war is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

Feeling a little more confident I fight harder to bring righteousness to this earth and look down to my chest as I feel a heaviness thud against me. A golden breastplate adorns my figure. The army facing me looks a little taken a back but continue to stand their ground. The war is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

Peace engulfed me and would have knocked me off my feet but they were now planted so firmly on the ground. I knew the strength could not be of my own. As I got stronger though still
intense, the battle seemed less scary and the idea of winning seemed almost possible. The war is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

Seeing the changes in myself I felt my faith growing stronger. Excitement bubbled within me as I trusted Him more. Continuing to fight back I watched as the leaders face darkened with
furious anger, unsure why, I quickly realized that his fiery arrows were being blocked and having no affect on me. Looking down I see that I’m now holding a shield made of the thickest strongest metal. The war is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

Now seeing the leader’s anger turn to shaking fear, I smiled having confidence in my Light. My prayers spun around him like a tornado forcing him to retreat from his stance. Then, no
longer able to stand up against the one who strengthens me, he took off running without a second thought. The war is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart.

I am strong when using the full armor of God and can stand up against all who come at me. On my own I have no power to ward off the enemy, I have no strength to stand on my own. But when
I am backed up by the King of Kings, those against me don’t stand a chance. The war is raging- this battle is not for the faint of heart. I am not the faint of heart because the Holy Spirit is
inside of me, Jesus is alive in me and God is my strength. When I put on the full armor of God darkness disappears, evil flees and satan trembles in fear. So I should not let the devil get the upper hand by believing a lie that it’s hopeless and we’ve been defeated. I should not get discouraged but continue trusting in my savior who has all circumstances in the palm of His hand. Dios es siempre victorioso.

My Heart Is Smiling

Wow. The past two days have been muy loco (very crazy). Yesterday, after a day of pricing out
supplies and appliances, Tony got an urgent phone call. Ronnie and some other guys at the rehab center had broken out of the window that morning. An intervention was to be had. Prayers, tears and conversations smothered in emotions finally brought Ronnies decision to stay in Los Pinos with his family rather than go back to the center. Ronnie had only been in rehab for 2 weeks.

2 weeks of freedom- 2 weeks of change- 2
weeks of joy amidst struggle- 2 weeks of future dreams- 2 weeks of being clean.

 Right now Ronnie is surrounded by temptation. As far as we know he hasn’t stumbled. Praise the
Lord. He is staying with his mom’s sister and will hopefully be able to go to a different village to live with his grandparents. Much prayer is needed.

The phone call surprised me because every time we’ve gone to visit Ronnie he’s been so joyful
and making so much progress. I understand that this is all just a part of life but seeing him sobbing and making the decision not to go back was hard. I feel sad for my friend but I believe in him. I especially believe in Jesus who can work miracles, change ANY heart, and can turn anything bad into good for those who love him. Right now we just need to leave Ronnie in God’s hands. I need to.

Tony made a good point this morning that we can’t let this get us down because that’s exactly
what satan wants. We need to focus on who God is giving us right now in this moment- which was perfect because today we did exactly that!

Today was beyond lovely. My face reflects my smiling heart.

We met Fernandoafter his first day back at school and took him out for lunch. He told Tony
that he loves school and wants to go everyday now. He said he didn’t even carethat he had so much homework! He is so precious J Afterwards we brought him back into Los Pinos where he lives. We drove down, bouncing on the bumpy dirt roads. When we pulled up to the stairway that climbs the mountainside there were a few people to greet us.Tony turned off the car and we just visited with everyone who came by. I have so much love for these people. My heart was filled with joy as I
got to see many of them that I got close with last time and hadn’t seen yet since being here. I got to see my Carlitos, Fanni, Jennifer… the list goes on. It was so exciting for me to introduce my sisters to them. I love introducing people I love to more people I love! I even got to meet a couple of the moms of the kids we spend time with so that was neat.

I love how the minute Tony pulls up in Los Pinos, parks, and opens his doors people young and
old just filter out of the wood work to greet him. Tony is like a magnet forthis community. They absolutely love him and want him to love them back. And he does, very much so.

While we were there Fanni took us up the mountain to her house. What a trek. I can’t imagine
climbing that multiple times in a day especially in the rain. It’s a miracle we made it down without landing on our bottoms atleast once! Fanni lives in a house with her abuela (grandma) and her hermano (brother) Luis. Two little open rooms and a small kitchen make up their house. Pictures of them with WR friends adorned the walls as well as stuffed animals. Although it was not much compared to North American standards it was quaint, homey and filled with love. What more could we want? Maybe I shouldn’t ask that question haha… We stayed for about an hour and by the time we had to leave there were even more people milling around than before, a few in the car not wanting us to leave or for us to take them with us!

Thus, today has been wonderful. God is good. His ways are perfect even though they don’t always make sense to my mind. I’m excited to see what the rest of the week has in store. As far as tomorrow morning goes, my sisters and I will have the whole house to ourselves! Woot! No boys. Keep in mind, we love boys but are unused to so many all the time as we are used to only live with girls… and my dad I know I can speak for all of us in that we are excited for some peace and quiet.

Ps. Thanks for your support and encouraging words! All are greatly appreciated!

Where Is My Heart?

It’s hard for me to know what to blog about because so much goes on everyday. Everything is always changing, like a roller coaster ride going up and down. So I put it off while trying to figure out what story to share and then even more happens! It’s almost as if I need to blog everyday but even then I’d still have so much to say! I realize also that I need to put pictures up, it’s just very time consuming but I will try some soon. There are some on Facebook if you wanna check them out.

Okay so lets see…

On Sunday after church we (Nat, Kay, Tony, Nidia and I) went out for lunch at Little Ceasers. Carlos had stayed in Los Pinos and none of the other boys were with us so we had a very quiet, relaxing time together. Afterwards we went back to Los Pinos to pick up Carlos and Ronnie’s family before heading over to visit Ronnie. We’d brought Carlos a
couple pieces of pizza and a cup of coke because he now lives with us. All the kids were in the back and I turned around to see what was going on when I heard bursts of laughter. The sight that met my eyes brought great delight to my heart. Carlos, who was probably very hungry but knowing that the others were hungry too, shared with Ariel, Dania and Amalia instead of eating his food all to himself. He even passed around his coke! Not only did he share with them, on top of it all he was joyful. He didn’t look annoyed that he had to share or
upset because he was still hungry. I was beyond impressed and blessed by the situation unfolding behind me. What a testimony! It reminded me of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with the boys 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish… on a much smaller scale of course. Guaranteed Jesus was looking down and smiling at Carlos, filled with love and joy seeing His son following after His own heart. A few days later I was reading Crazy Love and found this verse-
 Isaiah 58:6-7 Is it not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to lose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

These verses fire me up for so many reasons! Jesus wants to lose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, He wants to set the oppressed free and break every yoke!
Hallelujah! How many times have I cried over the injustice of this world- for the starving children, for the ones who are being forced to kill their families and the families of others, for the women who are sold into sexual slavery and for the ones who choose it, for the people in this world who don’t know love in any sense of the word, for the kids who are on the street sniffing paint thinner because no one believes in them. Jesus wants to see this redeemed so much more than I ever could. All of this hurts His heart more than it ever could mine. Praise the Lord! The second reason is He is telling us to share our food with the hungry and that’s exactly what Carlos did. No one asked or told him to, he just did it. A 13 year old boy.

Wow. How many times do I even consider going hungry in order to feed someone else who’s hungry and probably hasn’t eaten for a while? Sadly, not very often. Is it so much for Jesus to ask of me, me who has been blessed with so much? It shouldn’t be. This is where Jesus heart is. So where is mine? Where is yours?

I'm Back!

The first few days here in Honduras have been wonderful. My sisters and I were met at the airport by Tony and a few of the boys. Oh it was so good to hold my boys in my arms again. Carlos is living with us right now and it’s going super well. He brings so much joy and entertainment into our lives. He has started calling me his mama and nati and kaleigh are his tia’s (aunties). Yesterday we started English class with Carlos and he did Spanish class for us. So fun :)

Tony and Nathan have been telling us of their plans and dreams for the new property and we’ve been able to help put them into action by raking, and picking up garbage and glass bottles.

On Tuesday we went with Tony to take Ronnie to Rehab. Ronnie was so excited and so ready to change his life for the better. On Sunday we get to go visit him and see how his first week went. Please keep him in your prayers!

It seems as if everyday, even within minutes plans change. We think God is doing one thing and the next thing we know He is surprising us by doing something different. Our constant phrase seems to be "never a dull moment". God is doing so many amazing things here and I feel so blessed to be apart of it all. Please keep all of us in your prayers!

Miracles Happen

A couple weeks ago I went to Kelowna and I stayed with my Aunt and her family. I was blessed by her eagerness to hear my stories, experiences and how God moved in my life the past year. She asked a lot of very good questions that got me reflecting on my adventure. She asked me if I saw any miracles or healings and there were a few things I told her, but I knew there was something big that I was missing. I was fustrated that I couldn't remember something so amazing. Since then I've continued to rifle through the filing cabinets in my brain and now I've finally remembered! This story is too good to keep to myself so I'm sharing it with you.

It all happened on the very last day of the race... Guatemala was a particularly hard month for our team but we had struggled through it with God's help and were now on our last day. With no specific ministry planned we headed out to buy a few last minute souveniers. (A couple weeks earlier Tracy and I met a lady who owns a thrift store that used to be a drug addict but is now a christian. We had the opportunity to encourage her and pray for her and told her that before we left we'd say goodbye.) So we planned to make a stop and do just that! While we were there, her cousin came in and asked if we could pray for her mom. Honestly, once she told us that she'd take us to her house I didn't really want to go because we had so much other stuff to get done. I kept my selfish thoughts to myself and went anyways.

She took us down a cement path to a group of dorm type houses. Hers was the first door and it had a big blanket over it blocking out the light and a little heat. Ithe back right corner her mom was laying on a bed. Darkness was visible in both realms and it reflected in her eyes where pain and rejection also lingered.

We spent about an hour with her listening to her story and then praying for her, speaking words of truth into her life, singing, and crying out to God. They are christians but felt bogged down by the witchcraft community that surrounded them. Crippled by physical and emotional pain and sickness this woman lay in bed leaving her daughter to care for everything. Their needs were so great. My heart broke as they wept and cried out to Jesus. I felt His feelings for these people deep inside my being. His love for them was and is so incredibly strong

There was a stone wall and I kept hitting it. I clawed at it, I pushed against it with all my might. It wouldn`t budge. I knew that Jesus wanted to set this wounded woman free. Free from sickness and from emotional scarring but there was something inside of that woman holding her back from letting it all go; holding her back from accepting Jesus' healing power. I wished that this woman could feel and see what God has for her the way I could. Nothing compares. And yet, even though I knew she wasn`t completely free yet, I knew that God was holding her steadfast. I had peace and overwhelming joy, feeling how great His love was for her; For her in that moment even when she couldn`t let go. Even when she didn`t fully believe, He had amazing plans for her. Plans that she couldn`t yet see but I knew that one day she would. I prayed for His love to wash over her

Knowing that the battle wasn`t over but having the assurance that we`d done what God brought us for, we said our goodbyes.

After we'd left, Lili noticed that she had forgotten one of her bags so we went back get it. As we peered through the opening door into the common area joy lept in our hearts. I felt like I was soaring. I wanted to run screaming through the streets how amazing is our God. (I probably should have). This woman who could barely turn over or sit up for more than a minute was now outside walking around with the biggest smile on her face eating some m&ms that one of the girls had given her. Gloria Dios lept from my lips. Praise the Lord!

What a prefect way to redeem the month and the perfect way to end an incredible year. God's plans are far bigger and far greater than my own. How many times do I miss out on all He has to offer because I'm too busy?

He's calling me to put Him and His plans first. He's calling me higher. Higher than this world and higher than myself.

Listen, He's calling you too.

Final World Race Blog...

http://ashleyvanhouttum.theworldrace.org/?filename=i-remember

Pictures

I haven't posted pictures of this year yet but I hope to do that in the near future!

Another Chapter

Hey everyone!

SO as you might know, I am almost finished The World Race! I can't hardly believe it. I would like to continue blogging when I get home and when I am hopefully in Honduras in September. Please continue to follow me to see what I'm up to and what God is doing in my life and the new things He is teaching me!

Thanks :)